Putting the Pieces Together

As I thought,"What do I want to name my blog?" many titles came to mind; ideas surfaced, but I chose Mid-Life Mosaic with intention. I have been experimenting on and off for the past fifteen years with the art of mosaics. I love this art medium for it's ability to be spontaneous; it can be simply appealing in form, color, and texture; or it can be carefully planned and executed to evoke sentimental memories. As the artist, I can base my craft on instinctive feelings of design, proportion, color, symmetry, style, and balance rather than the formal constraints of traditional art theory. One of the greatest joys of mosaic for me is the lack of restrictions; its ability to loosen the artist within me and instantly engage me in the creative process.

Folk Mosaic has a legion of names: broken tile mosaic, bits and pieces, memoryware, funky mosaic, fragment work; fantasy mosaic. Mosaic (much like my life thus far) is a "collection" of nostalgic fragments, collected tessarae (Greek word- meaning four sided or cubes) or irregular, broken and even shattered pieces- all carefully chosen for shape, color, size and beauty. These bits and pieces are then applied (affixed with adhesive); carefully spaced; lastly grouted- transforming any "sturdy" surface into an unified creation of beauty. As I have ( rather reluctantly) moved into middle age, I've come to realize mosaics can be a metaphor for life; with each- it's about how you put the pieces together.

When I think of my mosaic (life) as a puzzle, pieces or fragments should fit comfortably into the space left by surrounding tesserae, while mimicking their form. If something doesn't fit, you need to trim it. When I can't eliminate a piece or a role that is negative, I work to transform it and then I can view it less negatively. In making a mosaic I use my nippers and may have to re-cut existing tessarae to "work" within the design. It is sometimes a process of trial and error. Sometimes I cut away too much and have to start again with a new fragment of glass or tile. Because this is extra work, I am often guilty of forcing a piece that's too large to fit. This is a mistake. I am learning to avoid this practice as it compromises the overall aesthetic of my project and when it comes time to grout, it may potentially crack or not fill in completely. Learning to enjoy the process and not rush through to completion doesn't always come naturally; when I don't- I sometimes have to start over.

As I move into this new middle phase of my life, I am not asked to abandon those people and things I love. As life leads me forward towards fifty- to now an empty nest for the first time, my new roles as mother in law, grandmother, middle aged wife and peri-menopausal woman don't require me to close my heart to all that has gone before. My heart is a worthy vessel. It carries beautiful bits gained from my living, loving and losing. It carries room enough for other treasures to be gathered on my way towards old age ( yes, I am saying that out loud).  I have lost, discarded, and have misplaced people and things along the way- all pieces of me. I re-examine many, evaluating them for their beauty and what they add or don't to my life . I am wiser and more discerning now. This season affords me that; I deserve it.

 I am not finished. I'm still playing with things. I know I must start adhering because I don't have forever. I choose the things I love most as my focal points: God, family and my sometimes neglected marriage. Friendships and creative expression are added passionately and liberally once again, bringing back color and interest to my life; I am careful to evaluate for balance. I like the way it's looking. Sometimes I get overly excited; I haphazardly add new things far too quickly and consequently I'm unhappy. Have I ruined it?  I tell myself I haven't because I can still pry the pieces off. Do I really want to do that? I am not so sure. I sigh... It's a lot of work, but in the end, how it turns out really matters to me. I realize that I still have plenty of time before I need to grout. I take a breath and enjoy where I'm at in this artful process; say a little prayer, hoping it's going to turn out beautifully.